Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
