just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
