I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
