I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize