im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
