Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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