Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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