If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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