i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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