I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
