I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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