I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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