tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
