I've blown a few things in my day
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
