He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
