On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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