sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
