that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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