i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
