you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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