it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Panties = found
Randomize
