Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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