my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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