he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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