I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
