Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
