I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize