Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
