I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
