Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize