So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
