If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
