I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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