dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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