you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize