I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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