direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
