her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
