Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
