I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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