Nicole vs. Life
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
