Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
operation harelip BJ is a go
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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