And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Someone signed my nipple.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
