I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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