I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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