she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
