Nicole vs. Life
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
