In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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