Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
