You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
