Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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