no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
