i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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