so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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