We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
