He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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