I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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