Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
