when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
