You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
