Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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