I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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