I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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