Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
