This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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