i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
