yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
